LOVE vs. LUST vs. MARRIAGE

Love:  When you take a bubble bath together
Lust:    When you take a bath in Jell-O together
Marriage:  When you give the kids a bath

Love:  A romantic candlelight dinner for two
Lust:    "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"
Marriage:   4 Happy Meals...to go

Love:  Giving your love some candy
Lust:   Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping candy off of the carpet

Love:  A night out at the Symphony
Lust:   A night out at the Ramada Inn
Marriage:  A night out at Sesame Street On Ice

Love: Aroma -- French perfume
Lust: Aroma -- Brut aftershave
Marriage: Aroma -- "The baby needs changing..."

Love:  Lending your jacket to your love when he/she is cold
Lust:  "I can think of a way to stay warm..."
Marriage:  Your teenager just took your jacket

Love: Talking and cuddling
Lust: Rolling over and falling asleep
Marriage: Getting up to wash your hands...

Love:  Finding the "Fell in Love on AOL" chat-room
Lust:   Finding the "Blonde Dominatrix" chat-room
Marriage:  Finding the "Married and Looking" chat-room

Love:  Long drives through the countryside
Lust:  Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout
Marriage:  Long drives with the kids screaming in the back-seat

Love:  Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage:  Sex ?

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

LOVE - When intercourse is called "makin love".
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When...uh...what's a climax?

LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch about work.

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.

LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all
around
MARRIAGE - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.

LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about
MARRIAGE - When just getting through the day is your only thought.

LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE -  When you're only interested in your golf score.

LOVE - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
LUST- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex.
MARRIAGE - When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement.

LOVE - You only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts.
LUST - You only leave the house to buy condoms and Vaseline.
MARRIAGE - You only leave the house when you're allowed.