Jokes and Other Funny Stuff - Rock13.com page 14 of 28 PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT
Signs You've Had Too Much of the 90's:

1. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out
of the back seat of your car.

2. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do
not have e-mail addresses.

3. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's homepage to you
bookmarks.

4. You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch an
bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed
off.

5. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.

6. Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and
capital gains.

7. You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.

8. You assume the question to valet park or not is rhetorical.

9. You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.

10. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

11. Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of
the products don't even exist any more.

12. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to
improve their profits.

13. You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to
work.

14. You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.

15. You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a
living.

16. You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive
restaurant in town within the same week.

17. You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a
project" are acceptable English phrases.

18. You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know
your
next door neighbors.

19. You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday
night plans.

20. You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his
ideas into a matrix.

21. You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.

22. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.

23. You try to enter your password on the microwave.

24. You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

25. You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready,
and he mails you back "What's for dinner?"

26. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

27. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa,
but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.

28. You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but
you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page.

29. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now
sells for half the price you paid.

30. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit,
to make a purchase is foreign to you.
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